My Resolution List!

• Udita Pal.
• AUTHOR or TWITTER: @Swag_Womaniya

To all the readers of this article wish you a very happy new year. Let me confess something from the bottom of my heart Resolutions are for dumb people. I believe you can make up your mind for anything you ever want to do without waiting for 31^st Dec. So here’s my small collection of New Year jokes to lighten up your mood.

·         New Year Resolutions can neither be created nor be destroyed they can be transferred from one year to another.

·         My New Year’s resolution is 1080p

·         May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions?

·         I have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have? Happy New Year!

·         My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.

·         What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? I haven't seen you for a year!

·         What happens every year when the Time Square Ball drops? Justin Bieber gets jealous

·         I have worked tirelessly in setting New Year's Resolutions every January 1st.

·         While I'm not always the best at keeping them, I'm consistent, and I'm sure this year will be better than ever before.

·         Dieting - New Year Resolutions :-

2009: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.

2010: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.

2011: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.

2012: I will work out 3 days a week.

2013: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

·         To kick start my New Year, I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

·         When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year. 

I gave up thinking.

·         This year resolve to make better bad decisions!

·         "new year's eve is always so disappointing" I think, ignoring the fact that most nights of my life as a whole are disappointing

·         "The last day of 2013 is tomorrow"3 years has passed and we've still been obsessing over a band. this new year will be exactly the same

·         My New Year resolution for 2014 is to avoid things that make me fat... like scales, mirrors & photographs.

·         Looks like everyone sends New Year wishes in advance to avoid sending it on time.

·         New Year’s resolutions are actually so dumb... You don't need a new year to make changes in your life.

·         the worst part of every new year is the amount of people at the gym in January thinking that they'll actually be getting in shape this year

Lastly, Tomorrow is first blank page of 365 pages blank book. Make sure you write a good one

Life is all about making choices and difference. Make sure you are coming up with next change. Maybe this post is being read by next Arvind Kejriwal ? Manmohan Singh ? Kamaal R Khan Okay I am stopping now.  

                     - The author is a 17-year-old student pursuing commerce at Bokaro Jharkhand. Her quotes and jokes have a special place in the hearts of many people. She works as a contributing writer with India's most loved story book - Uff Yeh Emotions. The views mentioned by the author are personal.